Online Present to Dad

My Dad has taken a really large interest in Photography lately, so my mum is getting him a really expensive camera, and I am giving him Photography for Dummies and Gimp and Picassa. I need to find some way to ACTUALLY GIVE the programs to him. By this I mean just going online and downloading it for him, I mean like physically rap it up and give it to him. I don't want to bother with a disc, cuz my dad's computer takes about 20 minutes to actually allow you to even look at the files. An SD card wouldn't do cuz my dad's computer doesn't have a port for that, and he probably wouldn't use it anyway so I'm outta ideas. I need to know quickly though (for obvious reasons).

Disk burning is the best choice, :(. No other way than those 2 actually if you want to do that.

ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO RISK ELECTROCUTION.

Er, if you have about 3 hours, you should be able to get a chip when you open up a broken webcam, tablet, speaker, or earphone volume toner. You should be able to get a tiny screw driver, and rearrange it with some super glue to form a little hole. That would be the easiest part. Then, try making a skeleton of your SD card and fit it on to the chip. Take a broken USB, cut the connector of it and get the port-inserter. You will see some lines in there that you will need to connect to the right lines. There are tiny numbers on the chip.

red wire : 3d093ch
blue : 633e2qq
yellow : 22mxnna1

once that happens, you should be able to connect a LED (optional) connect the red blue and yellow wires to the second port of your chip. (still same numbers) put in a SD card you should never be able to use, and try to read it with your USB port. mine works, ill show it.
I added a little tiny microscopic hole, got pencil lead and got a long sided cover. i made another microscopic hole in the long sided cover and i connected it to the chip. i cut the extra lead and added some glue. i added a cover to the usb thing and i was able to add a paint job. My family is working in IMATION Computer service. That's why they let me put imation sign on it. I covered the led also with the cover. My dad scraped the sides and made the awesome sign. It looks like i bought it from the store! I put a hole on the cover and was able to show the led. Here's the version without the logo. I was able to make it read about 1 gigabyte. That's right. The IMATION thumbdrives where discovered by me. I just didn't make the company. Can't take a picture, i used my webcam. :(