The Chick. Part 1 The Question

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

The Chick
Part 1
Written By That Guy
Edited by That Guy
Story inspired by Egaro.

Characters
Shanda.
Mack.
Egaro.
That Guy.
John.
Cj.
Kandy.

Part 1 The Question
"Hey Mack wanna go out to the mall and check out some hot chicks!"
"Sorry John but am supposed to be going to the mall with Egaro
and I dont want you to cramp my style."
"He still hasn't told you his real name and you still wanna hang out
with him instead of spending some time with your
one and only cousin called Mack?"
"Come on John you know I dont get to meet so many great people like him
and besides dont you have a girlfreind or something."
"You mean Shanda nah she said that I wasn't what she was looking for.
HA!I dont need her anyway!"
"Anyway am out I said to Egaro I would meet him at 3 o'clock
and look at the time it's already half 2."
"Whatever dont come running to me when he turns out to be crazy
just like all your other friends."

30 minutes later when Mack was looking for Egaro in the mall
he bumped in to Shanda.

"John is that you?I was calling you on your phone wanting to talk to you."
*I knew she just couldn't keep herself away from me.*
"I was wondering if you could give me Egaros number you know so
I can get to know him a little bit better."
"He is around the coner beside the cinema ask him yourself."
*I KNEW IT WAS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!*
"Sup guys."
"The sky."
"HEY EGARO!I was wondering could I possibly get your number?"
*Please say yes!*
"Sure.But could I ask you something."
"Yeah."
"Wanna go to the cinema to see shopaholics?"
*HE LIKE'S ME!*
"Yeah I would love to!"
"What about me?"
"You can come to if you want."
"Fine then I guess I will."

After the movie.
"John here is 20 dollars go buy yourself something at the shops."
"Hmm okay then"
"Egaro I really like you and I was wondering."
"You were wondering?"
"Do you wanna become more than friends."
......

Find out what happened next in The Chick
Make sure you read part 2 on Friday.:)

**Hero of Time** Posts : 13850 Registration date : 2008-01-26

The fact that anyone, even in a story, would fall for me literally has me tearing up laughing. Thanks; I needed that. :D

Do whatever you'd like with me, by the way; I won't consider anything offensive. :face:
~Egaro

Adept Posts : 1853 Registration date : 2008-08-12

Egaro wrote:: The fact that anyone, even in a story, would fall for me literally has me tearing up laughing. Thanks; I needed that. :D

Do whatever you'd like with me, by the way; I won't consider anything offensive. :face:
~Egaro

Stop downing ya self, she wasn't the end of the world.

But I know exactly how your feeling and it's hard.

haha, nice story, for some reason i wanna know what happens next.

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

Egaro wrote:: The fact that anyone, even in a story, would fall for me literally has me tearing up laughing. Thanks; I needed that. :D

Do whatever you'd like with me, by the way; I won't consider anything offensive. :face:
~Egaro

No problem.

Digintary Posts : 2646 Registration date : 2008-04-12

Cool story.

Not too long. Funny and easy to read.

I wonder what egaro says XD.

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

Part 2 comes out on Friday make sure you read it. :)

Digintary Posts : 2646 Registration date : 2008-04-12

I'm sure I will!

It's got me excited now XD.

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

You should be 8D
Part 2 will have a suprise for the readers! ;)

Guest

could you put it out earlier? Pleaaaaase???

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

I might have to look for writters and editors first then maybe it could be much earlier
I'll try write part 2 for Friday hope you all read it as it will be very interesting!

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

Any more tips comments?

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

Bum last chance

Digintary Posts : 2646 Registration date : 2008-04-12

Bad typo :P.

Anyways. I think you should make the story a bit more "Ooh I wanna' read that next time" If you know what I mean.

But it's great though - Can't wait untill friday!

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

It's the first part I could have done better.

It wasn't a typo I could have edited it when I was typing but to lazy to go back and edit it XD

On friday I will be giving out something so hope you all read fridays part 2.

Hero for Hire Posts : 1368 Registration date : 2008-11-04

lol! ill read part two on friday. :)

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

sorry part 2 isn't out yet am just busy it will be out later.

Forum Dweller Posts : 171 Registration date : 2009-03-12

It's been more that friday, you know. You've taken MONTHS.

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

Wow I forgot about this time to start up a new one!

Mercenary Posts : 735 Registration date : 2009-01-19

Wow I forgot about this time to start up a new one!

Vanguard Posts : 4736 Registration date : 2009-05-24

It's a bit informal and there is more converse than actual narrative, but the concept is pretty good and the next bit will be really good if you take on board all the comments.

7.5/10

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