The Daydream (Poem)

Exemplar Posts : 2282 Registration date : 2008-08-21

The Daydream

I'm rolling on fields of grasses
I'm feasting on chocolates that are massive!
I'm rolling around, eating a cake,
I'm swimming in the Victoria Lake!

Everything you think of,
Isn't true,
Isn't real,
Isn't likely.
And that's what a daydream is.

By Oggy

Subject: Re: The Daydream (Poem) April 1st 2009, 2:50 pm

Nice poem.
Although some bits don't rhyme but that's okay. (:

~babyCP

Observer Posts : 395 Registration date : 2009-03-12

grat poem :!:

Hero for Hire Posts : 1187 Registration date : 2008-01-25

Pretty good. :) Also, BabyCP, poems don't have to rhyme.

Exemplar Posts : 2282 Registration date : 2008-08-21

Thanks for the comments, guys. :D

Super-Human Posts : 3040 Registration date : 2009-02-09

It needs to flow
6/10

Exemplar Posts : 2282 Registration date : 2008-08-21

stevenF50 wrote:: It needs to flow
6/10

It DOES flow. Everything flows. Even though it hasn't got alot of rhyme in it, doesn't mean it's the worst in the world.

Super-Human Posts : 3040 Registration date : 2009-02-09

This part
I'm feasting on chocolates that are massive!
It needs to be shorter

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