| | Which Story Do YOU Like Best? | |
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+5Hyperhawk Ninjaman6767 billbong5001 Argie Egaro 9 posters |
Which Story Do YOU Like Better? | Story 1! | | 80% | [ 8 ] | Story 2! | | 20% | [ 2 ] |
| Total Votes : 10 | | Poll closed |
| Author | Message |
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Egaro Hero of Time
Posts : 13850 Registration date : 2008-01-26
| Subject: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 25th 2008, 7:35 pm | |
| I've written three stories for the Book Room Writing Contest, and I want your opinion on the best one! Story One: The Secret Mission No One Could Know About... - Spoiler:
I slung my messenger back over my shoulder as I walked out of the Pizza Parlor. I had just been assigned a very important mission; it could change the lives of penguins everywhere! I was determined to do it right. But the most important thing: no one could know!!
I waddled toward the Night Club—but I was stopped by a barrage of snowballs in the Snow Forts!! “Yikes!!” I shouted. I ducked for cover in one of the forts.
“Hey, you!” a penguin shouted. “Are you a Team Blue spy?”
I quickly realized the situation. I was in the middle of a widely known Team Red versus Team Blue snowball fight. “No!” I replied. “I’m just passing through.”
“We’ll have to take your name, just in case,” the red penguin said. “We can’t have any trouble.” She brought out a little notepad, and I scribbled my name down: Egaro. “Now then, away with you!” the Team Red member shouted with a grin. I went on my way. At the Night Club, the floor was…gone! I walked over to a green penguin in the middle of the dance floor. “What happened here?” I asked. “Someone flipped a switch, and the dance floor bulbs blew out!” he said. “I love dancing, but now I can’t.” He sighed and took off his propeller cap. “I was having so much fun, too.” “I might be able to help,” I replied. “Let me see what I can do. “
I went down to the Boiler Room and checked the switches before carefully unscrewing it from the wall to look at the wires. “Are you allowed to do that?” he asked. “Yeah, I got permission from the Boiler Room Keeper.” I looked at a green wire behind the switch labeled Dance Floor. “He wrote me a license.”
“Puffles can write?” he asked. “Of course! Why wouldn’t they?” The penguin scratched his head. “Ah, here’s the problem!” I exclaimed. “There’s just a loose wire—there! The floor should be back on.”
“Thanks! I owe you,” the penguin said and scrambled up the ladder.
“I bet I know where my target is,” I said to myself. “I bet they’re earning coins…”
I waddled in to the Cave and leaned against a rock. The roof began to tremble. “Uh-oh…” I began running.
When I reached the Mine, I looked back. A couple large rocks had fallen from the ceiling. “Phew, was that close!” I said. I spotted a penguin waddling toward Cart Surfer. “Hey, you—wait!” I shouted. He’d hopped in a cart. I hopped in one after him. It was a crazy chase! I saw the walls move past me and sped on. I had to catch that penguin!
I could see the light from the outside. “Almost there—“ I was cut off as I hurtled through the air, finally landing near the trees at the Mine Shack. I walked over to the penguin. “Here’s your pizza!” I said. “That’ll be twenty coins.” THE END
Got a name suggestion? I have no name for the story, and I'd love to hear your ideas! - Spoiler:
Story 2: The Best Party Surprise I Ever Had...
I waddled out of my igloo and smiled. Today was my birthday! I rushed to my friend’s house to celebrate. “Guess what today is?” I said as I rushed in. “Egaro! Didn’t you see the ‘Don’t Disturb Bubo’ sign?” I ignored the question. “What’s today?” I asked. “It’s someone’s birthday!” he replied. I smiled. “My Puffle’s a year old!!”
I looked disappointed. “Anything else?” I asked. “No. Why?” I walked out of the igloo without responding. None of my other friends remembered that it was my birthday, either. Not even my Puffles seemed to know. I heaved a sigh and sat in the Night Club. A penguin sat down next to me. “What wrong?” he asked. “It looks like something’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”
“It’s my birthday,” I replied. “Happy birthday, then!” he said.
“Thanks; you’re the only person who’s said that all day. None of my friends remembered it was my birthday. This is the worst birthday I’ve ever had. He put a party hat on my head. “Cheer up! We can celebrate at your igloo. How does that sound?” “Sounds great,” I said and smiled shyly. I opened the door to my igloo…everything was dark, and then:
“SUPRPRISE!” All of my friends were there. I couldn’t stop myself from shouting thanks so much. The penguin who had taken me here changed color and put on some clothes, and I quickly saw that it was Bubo. “Did you arrange this whole thing?” When he nodded, I smiled. “This is the best birthday ever. Thanks so much!!”
THE END
Once again, I could use some name suggestions. I'm going to make the third story later and have it compete with the winner of this poll. Poll lasts two days. ~Egaro | |
| | | Argie Hero of Time
Posts : 11494 Registration date : 2008-03-08
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 25th 2008, 8:29 pm | |
| Wow, those are both the funniest stories ever! I loved them... you better win the one you submit.
Are you allowed to do more than one? Because if so, I suggest you submit both. :) But, I will have to say story one, that is really creative and funny. | |
| | | billbong5001 Beholder
Posts : 258 Registration date : 2008-02-13
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 25th 2008, 9:17 pm | |
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| | | Ninjaman6767 Vagabond
Posts : 81 Registration date : 2008-02-07
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 25th 2008, 9:19 pm | |
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| | | Hyperhawk Digintary
Posts : 2911 Registration date : 2008-04-11
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 25th 2008, 10:39 pm | |
| I really like story1 ya know! ;) | |
| | | lookathis Super-Human
Posts : 3227 Registration date : 2008-01-26
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 26th 2008, 3:20 am | |
| I really like number 1 story, I'm also gonna do that writing thing, the spy one, as it is ture, I DID found a mission that nobody knew about(no joke/lie) | |
| | | Skyward Sam Paragon
Posts : 7114 Registration date : 2008-01-27
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 26th 2008, 11:00 am | |
| Very good, but use better words like instead of said, use exclaimed, and complex adjectives that sound better than run, like dashed or darted, but it was excellent Egaro, I liked the second one better. | |
| | | jmg11 Super-Human
Posts : 3025 Registration date : 2008-01-27
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 27th 2008, 8:48 am | |
| I like the first one better. Good stories dude! | |
| | | !Bubo! Beholder
Posts : 275 Registration date : 2008-04-27
| Subject: Re: Which Story Do YOU Like Best? April 27th 2008, 11:49 am | |
| I thought the first story was funny to read. Everything gets inhis way!! PS:Nice Avi SUPERFISH :P ~Bubo | |
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